A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
worst night to have a conscience
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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