I didn't shave. On purpose
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
