maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
