Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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