Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize