I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
