I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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