Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
