I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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