these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
