You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Text me some of your sweat
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