maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
