either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
