arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
