I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
PANTIES FOUND
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
