he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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