i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
