she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
