there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
