i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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