ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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