I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
