I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
