It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
