Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he thought i was a dude.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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