a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Panties = found
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