Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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