Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
