their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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