It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
