I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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