girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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