come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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