If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
