Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
