Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
