We're like a lot better than the average bears
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
