i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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