I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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