Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
