can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
