Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
