Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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