Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
