Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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