just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
