Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
