There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I got inside last night via doggy door
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize