Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
