just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
