that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
