My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
