wrigley field is MILF paradise
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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