bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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