My sheets look like a crime scene.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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