rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize