i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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