I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize