I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
