Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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