Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
