I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
