I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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