dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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