3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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