saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
