definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
