If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize