Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
