Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
