i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
