I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Come see our sink grown plant.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
