There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
