Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
