Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
