she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
