I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
